Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer.."
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me eight thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"