Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Alcohol Overdoses Kill 37 in Colorado

Jan 29, 2014

Colorado is reconsidering its policy of allowing the sale of alcohol in the state after a horrific number of alcohol related deaths.

According to a report in the Rocky Mountain News, 37 people were killed across the state during the president's State of the Union address last night. Several more are clinging onto life in local emergency rooms and are not expected to survive.

"It's complete chaos here," says Dr. Jack Shepard, chef of surgery at St. Luke's Medical Center in Denver, "I've put five college students in body bags since breakfast and more are arriving every minute.

Apparently the students were playing a game in which they took a drink each time the president told a lie or said something stupid during the state of the union address.

[Update: it appears the students had to take 2 drinks each time the president plagiarized a line from a Bush State of the Union address.]


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